How God Rescued Me

     I was raised in a loving Seventh-day Adventist Christian home. When I was small I wanted to follow God, but as I got older I went away from the Lord. I went away for school and had the wrong friends and got into most of the things that a rebellious teenager would get into. I looked for love in dating relationships, and found only pain and disappointment. If I could go back I would give my life to God as a teenager, obey my parents, home-school, and definitely not have boyfriends. All this time that I was running from God, He was trying to draw me to Him.
     For a long time, I struggled with feeling ugly. I decided if I became really skinny maybe I’d be pretty, but thankfully my mother got me to start eating more again. Then I tried fixing myself up to look good. Finally, when I was a teenager, guys started paying attention to me. I didn’t know that that would be one of the biggest curses in my life. I had many bad relationships, and got into a very controlling and abusive relationship, that caused terrible emotional scars. I felt like I couldn’t get out of it, and didn’t know what to do. But I praise the Lord that He loves me, and was trying to draw me to Him.
     My first year of high school, a group from another school came to our area on a mission trip. They stayed on our campus. We thought they were strange, but there was one girl in the group who caught my attention. Her face shone when she talked about God. She would smile so joyfully that it awakened a desire in me to have what she had. I’d never met young people who loved the Lord so much and I was really impressed. But as soon as they left, I pretty much forgot about it and kept living as I was living.
     The next year of school there was a week of prayer. A pastor came to our school to speak to us, and as I listened to him, my heart was drawn to God again. I wanted to change and I did try, but again I didn’t make a choice for God and was soon in my old life.
     That year I became very depressed. I was in a bad relationship and many times I wanted to kill myself. No one knew how I felt because I acted very happy. But God knew, and each time I would think about committing suicide, He put the thought in my mind, “It’s going to get better.” Isn’t that amazing! I was rebelling against God, and yet He was trying to protect me and telling me not to kill myself because my life was going to get better.
     As always happens when we reject the Lord, I went even further downhill. I remember waking up at nights afraid, especially if there was a storm or anything because I knew that if I died, I wasn’t going to heaven. Finally one night I heard the Lord speaking to me. I didn’t know it was Him, but the thought pressed itself into my mind, “Adriela, what are you doing? You know better than this.” I felt terrible. Shortly after this I was watching a movie, and the people in the movie were living like I was. Their lives got worse and worse until finally they were hopeless. I realized that that was going to happen to me if I didn’t change. I felt horrible and guilty.
     After this experience God gave me His most earnest appeal that He’d given. I had a dream that I was walking in a field with some friends. Suddenly, I saw Jesus coming. I fell on my knees crying and repenting for my sins. I wasn’t really sorry, I just didn’t want to be lost. Then Jesus came to me and said, “Adriela, I love you, and I’m going to give you a little more time.” What a merciful God! When I was living in terrible sin, He sent me a dream to bring me back! When I woke up I knew I had to change. I asked to talk to my pastor. I told him all about my life. It was such a blessing how he responded. He didn’t make me feel condemned at all, he told me that I couldn’t change myself. He said to pray every day that God would give me a new heart. So I did. Every day I prayed for God to change my heart. After about a week a miraculous change took place inside of me. I didn’t want to live rebelliously anymore. I wanted to follow God! He had changed my heart.
     I started spending time with God by praying and reading the Bible. I was so happy. But I was afraid of commitment, and I didn’t fully commit myself to God. I was afraid that if I committed myself to Him, I’d let Him down and I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t realize that not committing to Him meant I would let Him down. And I did. I started getting back into my old life, and tried to justify what I was doing, but I knew I was doing wrong.
     After graduating from high school, I really messed up in my Christian walk. I felt terrible because I had been a bad influence to a friend who I had longed to bring to Christ. I realized I had to make a choice. I either would forget God, or I would follow Him. I didn’t want to live like I had been living. I wanted to follow God.
     A friend and I had been planning to go to college together. We had a lot of plans about how much fun we would have. But I realized that if I were to go to college right then, I would leave God. Mom had told me about a program called Witness for Life. It was a year long evangelism training program. After praying a lot, I knew that I should go on this program. I’m so grateful I did, because the Lord used it to turn my life completely around.
     I felt very shy because these young people were different than any I’d known before. They were actually on a program to learn more about God. I thought they must be perfect people. I didn’t know what they’d think of me. But when I met them, they were really nice. I was so happy to finally know people my age who loved God. It was so exciting! I don’t think I stopped smiling for several months. On this program we attended a Bible college where I learned about the prophecies in the Bible. I was so excited to find out that we really are at the end of the world, and that Jesus is coming soon. I got to write Bible studies, and teach them to people. I spent a lot of time studying my Bible. That was a wonderful time.
     Next, on Witness for Life, we went to a place called Uchee Pines. Uchee Pines is a school combined with a Lifestyle center. It was here that I finally committed my life completely to my Lord. I was reading a courtship and marriage book, and realized that just as marriage can’t last without commitment, neither can the Christian life. I gave myself completely to the Lord that day.
     The program ended with a summer of Bible working. That was such a blessing. I struggled a lot with temptation during that summer, but the commitment I’d made helped me through. The Lord really blessed the Bible work, and I was so grateful for that summer. At the end of the summer, we helped with an evangelistic series. During the meetings there was a call for baptism and I felt the Holy Spirit speaking to me that I should be rebaptized. I’d been baptized when I was small, but since I’d left the Lord, I felt I needed to be rebaptized. I studied a lot about baptism, because I wanted to do it right this time. I was rebaptized August 3, 2004. That was the happiest day of my life that far.
     After this, I went to college. It was a shock suddenly being out of the very spiritual atmosphere I’d been in. I was very lonely. For about a week I could find no one who seemed interested in God. One morning I pled with God to give me good, Christian friends. At lunch that day, I heard someone talking about God! I was so excited! As soon as I could, I went and introduced myself. They invited me to a meeting for young missionaries. Finally, I was around young people who loved the Lord. I was so grateful.
     I had a hard time in college. I’d always thought I was pretty smart, and I needed to learn to be humble and depend on God. I did very badly in my classes. But I promised the Lord that I would be faithful to Him in school, by obeying Him and taking care of my health. I told Him I wouldn’t stay up late to study, and I would eat healthfully. I knew that my body belonged to God, and I wanted to take care of it for Him. I claimed the promise:
      “And the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the LORD thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them:” Deuteronomy 28:13
     God is so faithful! I learned that I couldn’t do anything without God, and as I learned this He showed me that with Him, I could do well. I did my best and prayed a lot, and my grades slowly came up!
     I was at school for one semester, when God called me to leave. I knew that the environment wasn’t good for me, having come out of a bad life just recently. It was slowly wearing away at me. God did several miracles, and gave me incredible peace through this whole experience. I had no idea what He wanted me to do next, and though God gave me amazing peace about my future, He didn’t show me what to do. So I went home.
     While at home I began having strange symptoms, that rapidly worsened. My parents are doctors and they did every test on me they could think of, but nothing could be found. Yet my health grew worse. That was a scary time, not knowing what was wrong with me, but God filled my heart with peace. I remember one specific time that I was praying earnestly for God to heal me, and I realized that I wasn’t willing to submit to His wisdom if He didn’t heal me. I realized I must submit to Him regardless of what He saw was best. After much prayer, I left my health in His hands. I’ve tried many things to get better, and He still hasn’t healed me. But now I praise the Lord, because I know that my health problems have helped turn my eyes to God to be my strength, my hope, and my joy. They’ve also helped keep me humble. I used to be very proud, and try to fix myself up and look beautiful, but now I see that outward beauty isn’t what matters. Inner beauty is what’s important.
     My time at home was an incredible blessing. I realized that that was exactly where God wanted me for the time. I saw all the suffering people were going through because of bad lifestyle choices and I wanted to know how to help. I kept praying for God to show me His will for my life, and finally after much prayer, it seemed that I should go to Uchee Pines, the natural health school and lifestyle center that I’d attended while on Witness For Life.
     I learned many very valuable lessons at Uchee Pines, but I want to share the two most important things I learned.
1. I learned that it is only by Jesus’ grace that I am saved, and that He is the One who works in me to make me like Him. I’d been struggling a lot because I learned all the things I was supposed to do to be a perfect Christian, but I couldn’t do it all. I became very depressed, and felt that maybe I should give up. God mercifully had allowed me to live with a godly family during that time of depression, and the lady of the house helped me a lot. She helped me better understand God’s love for me, His mercy, and His power to transform me.
2. The Lord also used her to teach me about godly submission. I learned that the Bible teaches humble submission to authorities such as parents, husband, teachers, etc. in everything, unless they tell us to disobey God. This was a hard lesson for me to learn, because I was quiet stubborn and liked to think independently. But as I learned to be submissive to authorities God had placed in my life, I saw powerful miracles. I saw God change people’s minds so that I could do what I felt I should. I saw Him work in me too, teaching me to be humble and willing to learn.
     
     During this time, I went with my dad on a father daughter vacation. We had a wonderful time. While we were talking one day, Dad brought up marriage. I told him I didn’t think I could ever get married because I didn’t feel I could trust men. After my bad experiences in the past, marriage sounded very scary, and like the road to heartache. Shortly after talking to Dad, God showed me that I could trust again. Then I noticed a young man named Shawn.
     Shawn was different than any other young men I had met. He was quiet, and genuine , and very spiritual . He didn’t joke and tease like many of the other young men I knew. He spent time with his family and was very reserved around girls . I din’t believe in becoming close friends with guys unless I was truly interested in them and it seemed that he felt the same way . I got to know his family a little bit and eventually began talking with him some. I really enjoyed talking to Shawn. The more I talked to him and the more I got to know about him the more I hoped that Shawn and I would be together someday. I talked to my family about it and asked for them to pray. I also prayed a lot. I asked for counsel from two women at Uchee Pines who I respected very much, and they both said they thought highly of him . But it still wasn’t God’s time for us to be together. I was very disappointed when he stopped talking to me. But I kept praying and hoping. I prayed that if it wasn’t God’s will for us to be together that he would take away the feelings I had for Shawn, but the feelings remained. It was hard waiting, but I strongly believe that the man is to be the leader in the relationship. So I waited on the Lord, and prayed for Shawn. Close to a year had passed and it looked even more hopeless that I would ever be with Shawn. Then a lady invited me to camp meeting , and she also invited Shawn’s family . I had been selling books with Shawn’s mom for several months, so when she mentioned that they were going to the camp meeting I asked if I could go with them. I had such a nice time traveling with Shawn’s family. The more I got to know Shawn’s family and the more time I spent around Shawn the more I prayed that God would bring us together . He seemed perfect! He was everything I could want in a husband, and his family was so nice . During the camp meeting there were a couple of times that I felt a crushing burden to pray about Shawn. I prayed earnestly for a long time and I talked to mom and asked her to pray. Later, I found out that Shawn had been praying at the same time about me.
     The camp meeting ended, and as I had feared I didn’t get to see Shawn very much anymore . Uchee Pines has a seminar in the fall and my parents were planning to attend. I prayed earnestly that if it was God’s will, Mrs. Hoffman, Shawn’s mom, would invite my family to eat at their house on Sabbath. It was amazing what God did! She not only invited my family to eat at their house but also to stay at their house for the whole week! And I got to stay there too. We went canoeing on Sabbath, went to the museum together on Sunday, had family worships together, and had a really nice time together. My family and I were praying a lot because it really seemed that God may be leading Shawn and I together. But the seminar passed and still Shawn hadn’t asked to court me. One evening after selling books with Shawn’s mother she handed me a letter . I went quickly into my room to open it and it was from Shawn ! He was asking to court me! I was so excited ! I fell on my knees laughing, praying, crying, and praising God ! I couldn’t stop saying “thank You, thank You, thank You!” I called my mom to tell her. Shawn had sent a letter to mom and dad asking if he could be with me, and mom was almost as excited as I was ! I was so thankful to have mom and dad’s approval because I don’t believe in marriage without the parents blessing . They were very happy for us .
     Getting to know Shawn better was wonderful . He was more wonderful than I could’ve imagined! And we matched so well ! We had the same values, the same goals, the same beliefs . I was amazed at how God had made as for each other .
     I want to explain a bit about what I mean by saying “Shawn asked to court me.” When I say courtship, I’m talking about a different kind of relationship from dating. A relationship that’s very serious, with the intent of getting to know each other probably to get married. Also a relationship centered in God, and with parent’s blessing. I don’t believe that going out with many different people is God’s plan. Dating leads to a lot of heartache, compromise, premarital sex, jelousy because of who’s with who, and many other harmful things. If we follow God, He can lead us to the right person without going through all of that.
     During our courtship, Shawn and I prayed a lot together, asked counsel from our parents, read the Bible and Adventist Home together, and spent a lot of time talking, and working on the farm together. We agreed that, until we were engaged, we wouldn’t hold hands, hug, kiss, or have any physical contact. It was so special saving all touching until later. It helped us build a strong relationship spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, instead of just physically. We didn’t even kiss until a few days before our wedding. It was so special knowing that Shawn respected me so much, and knowing that our relationship was built on love for each other, not on physical attraction. The more I got to know Shawn, the more I loved him. Finally, after what seemed like forever, we were married on February 17, 2008. It was the happiest day of my life!
     We’d prayed a lot about our wedding, because we wanted it to point people to God. We wanted Him to be the center, not us. We had our family very much involved in the wedding-our dad’s both preached (his dad spoke about the husband representing Christ, and my dad spoke about the wife representing the church, Christ’s bride as it says in Eph. 5), our siblings were the bridal party, our mom’s gave us a blessing, it was so extremely special.
     We had prayed for a month long honeymoon, but didn’t know how we could afford it. We wanted to do everything very economically b/c we know our money is the Lord’s and we wanted to honor Him in its use. A very kind friend at Uchee Pines let us use her house in the country for a whole month! We had a wonderful honeymoon!
     We had prayed a lot about what we should do for our first year together. The Bible says in Deuteronomy 24:5 “When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.” Because of this, we really wanted a situation where we could be together. God provided us a job in my home town doing Bible and health work for the church. We get to do full time ministry and do it all together. We get to live in a nice little house in the country. We have a little garden, and a nice yard with flowers and trees, all for free because of our work. It’s such a blessing! And though we’re living on a small missionary income, God has abundantly supplied all our needs.
     I’m so happy with Shawn. I loved him so much when we got married, and today I love him so much more than I did then! I read a poem a long time ago that spoke about marrying someone who was a representation of God’s love, and that’s what Shawn has been to me. I’m so thankful for God’s mercy towards me. If I could erase my past I would, because the pain and regret from a sinful past is terrible. It makes me very sad knowing that I influenced many people to do wrong. But despite my awful past, God has been so good to me, and I praise Him for His goodness, mercy, and love. I had fun before I gave my life to God, but I never had true joy and peace. And quickly the fun turned into pain, guilt, and shame. Now I’m learning the joy and peace that can only come from following Christ. There’s a verse I want to end with. Speaking of God it says, in Psalm 16:11, “You will show me the path of life: in Your presence is fulness of joy; at Your right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”
     I want to encourage you, if you’ve never gone the wrong way, please don’t. There’s so much pain that comes from a life of sin, and I don’t want you to go through that. I’ve lived for myself, and I’ve lived for God, and I can tell you that living for God is so much better. If you have left the Lord, please come back. He loves you, and wants to give you so much joy, more than you’ve ever known. He can heal your pain, and save you from your sin. God loves you so much that He was willing to give Jesus to die for you. Please come to Him.